Wonky words. You can find them anywhere: on billboards, on beer bottles, on bus-stop signs. I’m talking about words that make you go hmmm. I’m talking about the kind of writing that makes word nerds groan.
Why stop at groaning? Let’s have some fun with these egregiosities. I propose writing captions for them. I do that on my Pinterest board “Wonky & Wondrous Words in the World.”  (I owe my inspiration for this board to Jacquie Samuels’s TechWhirl post “Pinterest: What My Mother Can Teach You About Content Strategy and Technical Communications.”) I’d lay odds that caption writing, like bridge playing and crossword puzzling, staves off Alzheimer’s. Even if it doesn’t, caption writing provides an endless source of free entertainment.
Here are some wonky-word examples that I’ve photographed and captioned.

1. Why don’t they?

2. Under neat that, we will not pay for this cake. (This book is a hilarious collection of wonky words on cakes. See www.cakewrecks.com.)

3. Where can I trespass, then?

4. Can I get shoup with that?

5. No telling what the Black Spoon Promise is.

6. Why? What did it do?

7. Good to know. Wait. Isn’t this an envelope?

8. They has come a long way.

9. I just want to know … flush up or down?

10. DO NOT—WE REPEAT, DO NOT—THROW THESE INSTRUCTIONS AWAY. THEY’RE USEFUL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

11. A happy child cape, though, you can forget about. (I mocked up this bumper sticker to match the one that got away before I could photograph it.)

12. Maybe on the back.

13. You get the best gluten—and free pizza. All without leaving town.

14. Naming a road “Gravel” is like naming a person “Baby.”
I’d love to hear about wonky words you’ve encountered. Have you noticed nutty nuances in the newspaper? Come across a kooky catchphrase in a commercial? Been bewildered by a botched bit of banter? Felt aghast over an ad gone awry? Leave a comment—with your caption.
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This post first appeared November 20, 2013, in my TechWhirl column, “Word Wise.”
Reblogged December 19, 2013, on the Hurley Write blog.
Dang! I’m bummed that the gluten-free pizza isn’t free!!
Bobbi, Wasn’t it a sweet moment, though, when you first saw “free pizza”?
for one brief moment…
🙂